also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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