You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
