So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
