I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
