How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
