The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
you made out with another girl for some wings
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
