its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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