If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just invented taco cereal.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
