I wish I could punch you in the face.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Randomize
