if i can run in heels then i can drive
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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