Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
