Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
