Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
