Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
zippers are such a cool invention
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
