tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
