So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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