You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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