4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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