i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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