You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
