Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
