Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I need to sanitize my soul.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
