My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize