My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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