Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize