some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
