omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
