I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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