Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
