She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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