fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't deserve a penis
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
