Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
