My first STD was from a foam party
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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