giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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