I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
