I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
