just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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