Don't you send me to vm
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
