They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
