small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
