Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize