erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize