At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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