roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well I just put wine in my tea
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
