Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
