Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
