yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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