Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
