omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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