all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize