Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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