Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
