Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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