ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
