i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's shark week go big or go home
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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