i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize