i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
