im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
