butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
