The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
