so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Green mimosas i think yes
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
