Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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