wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Everything about him screamed your future.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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